Sage Is Not Enough: Some People Are Just Bad for Your Nervous System

Photo by Kayla Maurais on Unsplash

You can sage the room.

You can light a candle.

You can chant, breathe, clear, call in light.

But if they’re still in the house — none of it will work.

Some people aren’t just energetically “off.”

They are biologically unsafe.

Your body tightens when they enter.

Your breath shallows.

Your gut coils.

But you override it — because you were taught to be polite.

To be patient.

To be “spiritual.”

To be the bigger person.

And then you wonder why you’re tired for three days after.

Why your jaw aches.

Why your nervous system feels like it sprinted through landmines.

This isn’t about “bad vibes. ”

This is about damage.

The Problem Isn’t Always You. Sometimes It’s Them.

It’s not your habits holding you back.

It’s not your lack of discipline.

It’s not that you don’t want it badly enough.

Sometimes it’s people.

Plain and simple.

People whose moods you have to read like weather forecasts.

People who create chaos and call it “just how I am.”

People who confuse love with control — and warmth with guilt.

And no matter how much inner work you’ve done —if they still live rent-free in your body?

You’ll keep circling the same emotional loop.

Do a Nervous System Audit

Not a productivity one.

Not a goals list.

A nervous system one.

Ask yourself:

• Who do I rehearse conversations with before I even text them?

• Who do I keep on my calendar but dread seeing every time?

• Who makes me question if I’m too much or not enough in the same hour?

• Who do I instantly silence myself around — even when I swore I wouldn’t this time?

• Who do I feel I owe updates to, even when I have nothing left to give?

• Who do I vent about constantly but still won’t cut off because it “feels dramatic”?

These aren’t just bad habits.

They’re red flags your body’s been waving all along.

Because if your goals are clear but your system’s overloaded, you won’t move forward —

You’ll just burn out with good intentions.

This Isn’t About Vibes. This Is About Survival.

In Vedic astrology, Rahu and Ketu are known as the head and tail of the eclipse — shadow planets that represent opposing energies of desire and detachment.

Rahu rules the mouth, craving, and illusion — it wants, speaks, consumes.

Ketu is what’s left behind — headless, ancient, detached.

In symbolic terms: Some people carry a Rahu energy —all tongue, all appetite, all confusion and charm. They talk pretty. But nothing they say nourishes you.

Others feel like Ketu —ghosts of old pain.

Guilt wrapped in silence. Emotional cutoffs that leave you wondering if it was all in your head.

And if you're stuck in that eclipse energy too long —

your nervous system doesn’t just dim. It collapses.

This Is Where Coaching Gets Real

People love to joke that life coaches are just glorified hype women.

“Drink water. Set boundaries. Believe in yourself.” Blah blah blah.

Let me be clear: That’s not what I do.

Coaching with me isn’t about making you feel better. It’s about helping you see better.

• See where your energy’s leaking.

• See which habits are trauma responses in disguise.

• See who’s been draining your life force in ways you’ve normalized for years.

Sometimes healing isn’t about more self-love.

It’s not about journaling or manifesting harder.

It’s about naming the parasite.

Pulling the weed.

Reclaiming the soil.

You Were Never Too Sensitive.

You Were Just Always Sacred.

Some people don’t hurt you with fists.

They hurt you with tone. With tension. With silence that stings.

And you convince yourself it’s your fault.

But your body never lied.

Your ache was the evidence.

Your burnout was the boundary begging to be drawn.

So draw it.

Not with apology.

With the same fire they tried to put out.

Because this is not about making peace.

It’s about finally making space—for you.

About Me:

My name is Anjla , and I’m a life transition coach.

I’m not here to fix you. I’m here to help you see what’s been draining you, gaslighting you, and keeping your nervous system in overdrive. I work with sensitive, smart, soulful people who are tired of spiritual bypassing and want grounded transformation. If this hit home — you’re not alone, and you don’t have to keep white-knuckling through it.

📬 Want support?

Let’s talk. (514) 970-7077 or Sidhu.anjla@gmail.com