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Are You Stuck in the Story of Your Pain?




We all go through things—

Heartbreak. Loss. Rejection.

Growing up with wounds that quietly shaped how we see ourselves and others.


But here’s the harder question:


Are you still living inside that story?


Not just remembering it—

But using it to explain who you are, what you deserve, or what’s possible for you?


That’s when pain becomes a pattern.


It starts with something real:

Someone left.

Something fell apart.

Life didn’t go as planned.


But over time, you don’t just feel the pain—you start to become it.


Your inner script begins to sound like:


  • “People always leave me.”

  • “It never works out for me.”

  • “I mess up everything good.”

  • “I just attract the wrong things.”



Sound familiar?


The more you repeat it, the more it shapes your identity—even if a part of you knows it’s not the full truth anymore.


So maybe you’re wondering:


“Why do I still feel stuck in the same loop, even when I’m trying to grow?”


Here’s the honest answer:


Because pain gives us identity.

It gives us something to hold onto—especially when we’re uncertain about what’s next.




It explains the walls we’ve built.

It justifies the dreams we’ve quietly buried.

It gives logic to our fear.


But here’s the truth you’re ready to hear:


The story that once protected you might now be the very thing keeping you small.


You’re not broken. You’re wired.


Your brain’s job is to protect you. Repeating old beliefs is a survival strategy.

If you expect disappointment, you can brace for it.

If you stay where it hurts, at least it’s familiar.


But surviving isn’t the same as living.


And your pain doesn’t get to write your future.



Here’s where the shift begins:


1. Name the Loop.

What’s the belief that keeps showing up when life feels hard?

Say it out loud. Write it down. Call it what it is.


2. Interrupt the Pattern.

When that belief resurfaces, pause. Ask:

“Is this helping me—or just keeping me stuck?”


3. Create Space for a New Story.

If you weren’t defined by your pain…

What would you be building?

Who are you becoming?


4. Stop Feeding It.

Feel your feelings—yes.

But stop feeding them with old narratives.

You can honor your emotions and move forward.


5. Trade Familiar for Freedom.

Yes, it’s scary to let go of what’s known.

But your peace is worth more than your pain’s loyalty.


Final truth?

You are not your worst memory.

Not your heartbreak.

Not the version of you that didn’t know better.


You’re the person who made it through.



And that means you get to choose what happens next.


So ask yourself—not with blame, but with clarity:


Am I still living in my story… or finally rewriting it?


If this hit home and you're ready to shift, I'd love to walk with you. Book a free clarity call.


Anjla Sidhu

514-970-7077

Emerge with Anjla

Don't miss out—your future self is counting on you.


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